Unit 8
De-escalation
4: Empathy/Point of View
GOALS
The students will…
- Learn
that solving conflicts isn’t about placing blame. Often you have to accept that there is
no one right answer and then find a solution that benefits everyone.
- Realize
that if you only listen to one person’s point of view, you might get the
wrong story; you have to listen to everyone to figure out what happened.
- Realize
that it is easier to solve conflicts when you look at another person’s
point of view.
- Discuss
the unfairness of assuming someone did something just because they have
done it in the past.
- Understand
the concept of empathy.
- Accomplish
the personal goal for your classroom for today: _______________________
________________________________________________________________________
The volunteers will…
- Practice
looking at situations from other people’s points of view.
Materials:
- Optical illusion worksheets for each student.
- Room 619 sheets for each student.
- One perspective from Curfew Conflict for each student.
Methods:
I. Opening Activity: Looking From Different Perspectives: Optical Illusions
(10 minutes)
II. Practicing
Looking at Others’ Points of View in Community Problem: What Happened in Room 619? (20 minutes)
III.
Practicing Empathy in Personal Conflict: Curfew Conflict (20 minutes)
IV. Closing
Activity: Summary (5 minutes)
Preparation:
- Review
the optical illusions and prepare your transition from illusions to
different perspectives.
- Copy
the Optical Illusions, Room 619, and Curfew Conflict sheets so each person
has one.
- Cut
out the Curfew Conflict sheets so each person sees only their perspective.
- Review
Unit 4 to make sure that your class stays consistent with negotiation
skills in the Curfew Conflict.
- **Look at the next lesson and pick out a topic
for Community Mediation. Speak
with your classroom teacher about having this discussion the following
week.
I. Opening
Activity: Looking From Different
Perspectives: Optical Illusions
(estimated time: 10 minutes)
Volunteer Leading this activity
_________________________________________
Estimated time for your class to complete this activity _______________________
Activity Goals:
- Use optical illusions to illustrate that two people can look at the same situation and see different things.
- See how looking at situations from different perspectives relates to conflict.
- Practice looking at images from two different points of view in order to practice using empathy when dealing with conflict.
If
possible, have the optical illusions sheets on the desks when students enter
the room. If not, hand out the sheets.
Point to
various optical illusions and ask what the students see. Ask if anyone sees anything else.
- It is a good idea to
make sure everyone can see both pictures before moving on to the next
picture because students have a hard time concentrating when they’re
trying to solve the puzzles.
- The optical illusions
are (clockwise from top-center):
- A man standing in a
hat; Abraham Lincoln (upside down).
- A young woman looking
over her shoulder; an old woman.
- A face; the word liar
written in cursive.
- A happy police
officer; an angry graduate (upside down).
- A clown; a circus
(sideways).
- A candle; two faces.
After
all of the optical illusions have been explained, ask, what was the point of
that activity?
- That two people can
look at the same thing and see two different things.
Ask,
what does that have to do with real-life conflict? Any examples?
- Two people can look
at the same event differently.
- If you try to look
at a situation from all points of view, you are more likely to be able to
understand where the other person is coming from, and so you’re more
likely to de-escalate your conflict.
- For example, one
person could think another stole something, when the other person thought
they had borrowed it.
II. Practicing
Looking at Others’ Points of View in Community Problem: What Happened in Room 619?
(estimated time: 20 minutes)
Volunteer Leading this activity
_________________________________________
Estimated time for your class to complete this activity _______________________
Activity Goals:
- Practice looking at other’s points of view (looking from others’ perspectives) in a situation where there is limited information.
- To explore many possible answers to a single problem.
Explain that the students will now
practice combining different perceptions of a conflict into one general
description, which they can use to determine how to respond to a conflict.
Hand out the characters’
statements so that each student gets a copy of all the statements.
Read the following scenario aloud
to the students, or have one or a few student volunteers read it to the class
(it is also in the materials section):
Room
619, a classroom of sixth graders, is learning about division. Ms. Alcott, the teacher, writes a really
hard problem on the board. Just as she
starts to explain it, the school secretary, Mr. Twain, interrupts the lesson to
tell Ms. Alcott that she has a very important telephone call in the
office. He says that she has to take it
right away, but that he also has to return to the office. Ms. Alcott decides to leave Jason in charge
of the class while she is gone. She
tells the class to keep working on the math problem until she comes back.
While Ms. Alcott is
walking back to her classroom, she hears a lot of noise coming from Room
619. When she opens the door to the classroom,
the floor is covered with paper airplanes.
Most of the students are sitting down, except for Tom and Cassie. Tom is
holding crumpled airplanes, and Cassie is standing at the back of the room.
Ms. Alcott has asked the
principal, Mr. Faulkner, to help her figure out what happened while she was
gone. Mr. Faulkner is asking six people
to come into his office to tell him what happened.
Ask for volunteers to read each
character’s statement out loud to the class.
After each statement, ask another student to summarize what the
character has or has not said.
After all the statements have been
read, have a discussion:
- What to emphasize in the game is not who did it or who’s lying,
but that everyone saw the situation from different perspectives, and the
person solving the problem must take all those perspectives into account.
- Remember that everyone could be telling the truth.
- For example, Jason might have thought that a plane coming from
the middle of the room was the back of the room – it was just a different
perspective about what was the back/middle, and not lying.
- Ask the students to figure out what happened and come up with a
solution to the problem that benefits everyone. The point is a solution, not accusations or blame.
- Ask, What kind of solution could make sense of all the
different perspectives?
- Perhaps the students were using the paper airplanes to
solve the math problem.
- There could be other missing information.
Apply the game to real life:
- Have you ever been blamed unfairly for something based on
things you may have done in the past, like Tom was?
- Can you think of some real-life problems that could be solved
by looking at everyone’s different perspective?
- What does looking at other people’s perspectives have to do
with negotiation? What does
negotiation have to do with real life?
III. Practicing
Empathy in Personal Conflict: Curfew Conflict
(estimated time: 20 minutes)
Volunteer Leading this activity _________________________________________
Estimated time for your class to complete this activity _______________________
Activity Goals:
- Practice looking at other’s points of view (looking from others’ perspectives) in a situation where there is limited information.
- See how the communication and problem solving skills learned in previous lessons can help in both figuring out what the different perspectives are, and figuring out how to come up with solutions where everyone is happy.
Continue the discussion
- If
you haven’t already done so, have the students brainstorm other ways
perspectives in a community/classroom setting are important in a
conflict. Let them come up with
examples they have witnessed and things that have happened to them.
- Transition
into examples of personal conflict with another person having a different
perspective.
- Define
empathy (understanding another's situation, feelings, and
motives).
Tell the students that they’re
going to act out a conflict between a parent and son/daughter over the weekend curfew. Half the class will be the parent and half
the class will be the son/daughter. The
parents will stand on one side of the room and the children will stand on the
other. The two sides must compromise;
when a compromise is reached, the people responsible move into the middle of
the room. The goal is to get the entire
class to the middle of the room.
- Divide the class in half.
- Give one group the parent role and one group the child role.
- Have each group read the statement they are given, and work
together to decide which points they are unwilling to compromise on.
- For example, the parent can insist that the child must be
safe.
- For example, the son/daughter can insist that the parent
must trust them.
- Assign one thing that a character wants (for example, to keep
the child safe) to each person in the group, or to two students if
necessary.
- The groups will stand on opposite sides of the room (or sit in
desks on opposite sides of the room if they can’t handle being out of
their seats).
- Each student must express what they want to the other
group. Someone with a related
point in the other group should answer.
The two people should discuss, using I-speak, and reach a solution
to that problem, using problem-solving, keeping in mind the points they
are unwilling to compromise on.
- Before the game begins, review I-speak (Unit 6a) and
Problem-Solving (Unit 3, 4), as well as EARS/good listening (Unit 6b).
- As a compromise is reached, the two people responsible move
into the middle of the room. The
goal is to get everyone into this common ground.
Discussion
- What was hard about this activity? Was it hard to find a solution and still keep from
compromising on the points you were unwilling to compromise on?
- Were you still able to reach a solution anyway?
- Did it help you to put yourself in the other’s shoes for a
minute so you could see where they were coming from?
- Any other comments?
V. Closing
Activity: Summary
(estimated time: 5 minutes)
Volunteer Leading this activity
_________________________________________
Estimated time for your class to complete this activity _______________________
Activity Goals:
- Review what the students have learned.
Ask the students:
- What
did we learn about conflict today?
- Looking at problems from different perspectives is hard, but
it helps solve conflicts without fighting.
- What
was the point of the optical illusions?
- Two people can look at the same situation from different
perspectives and can see different things.
- What
was the point of “What Happened in Room 619?” and the role play we just
did?
- How
does having different points of view help you in life?
- Conflict is not always bad.
- Different
viewpoints or ways of looking at things can create more opportunities for
solutions to problems.
- Different points of view
can also help people see problems in how they’re doing things, and
potential ways of doing them better, so everyone benefits.
- How
does it get in the way?
- When two people have different views of the exact same
situation and they are both unwilling to compromise or try to see the
situation from the other person’s point of view.
BEFORE YOU GO:
· Tell the class when you will be visiting next.
· Discuss with the teacher how your group handled the students and ask for his or her critique.
· Make notes for yourself on how the lesson went.
·
** Ask permission from the classroom teacher to discuss the topic you
have picked for the Community Meeting activity for next week.**
MATERIALS:
- Optical illusion worksheets Opening
Activity: Looking From Different
Perspectives: Optical Illusions.
- One copy for each student.
- Room 619 sheets for Practicing
Looking at Others’ Points of View in Community Problem: What Happened in Room 619?
- One copy for each student.
- Perspectives for Practicing
Empathy in Personal Conflict: Curfew Conflict.
- One perspective for each student.
What
Happened In Room 619?
Room 619, a classroom of sixth
graders, is learning about division.
Ms. Alcott, the teacher, writes a really hard problem on the board. Just as she starts to explain it, the school
secretary, Mr. Twain, interrupts the lesson to tell Ms. Alcott that she has a
very important telephone call in the office.
He says that she has to take it right away, but that he also has to
return to the office. Ms. Alcott
decides to leave Jason in charge of the class while she is gone. She tells the class to keep working on the
math problem until she comes back.
While Ms. Alcott is walking back to her classroom, she hears a lot of noise coming from Room 619. When she opens the door to the classroom, the floor is covered with paper airplanes. Most of the students are sitting down, except for Tom and Cassie. Tom is holding crumpled airplanes, and Cassie is standing at the back of the room.
Ms. Alcott has asked the principal, Mr. Faulkner, to help her figure out what happened while she was gone. Mr. Faulkner is asking six people to come into his office to tell him what happened.
What Happened in Room 619?
Ms. Alcott classroom teacher in Room 619
I had to take an important phone call from my son’s
preschool, so I went to the office. I
told Jason to make sure that the students stayed at their desk working on their
math. As I was walking back to the classroom, I heard someone shout “Hooray!”
and it sounded like several students were out of their seats. Meg was sitting at her desk, though, working
on the math problem.
Mr. Twain school
secretary
When I came to Room 619 to tell Ms. Alcott about the
phone call, I noticed that several students were having trouble settling down
after recess. Also, I’m sure I don’t
have to remind you that Tom often gets in trouble for being too loud in
class. If I remember correctly, Ms.
Alcott recently moved Tom to a desk in the front of the classroom.
Jason sixth grade student
Ms. Alcott always puts me in charge when she has to
leave the room. I’m not the teacher,
though. I mean, I try my best, but no
one ever listens to me. When Ms. Alcott
left for that phone call, it seemed like everybody started talking and moving
around. I don’t like to rat on people,
but the first paper airplane came from the back of the classroom.
Tom sixth grade student
I threw a couple of airplanes, but only after I saw
Meg throwing some. I was testing out a
new airplane design, but then I started to feel badly about it. I started to pick up the planes on the
ground around my desk, so that I could throw them away in the garbage can at
the front of the room. But I wasn’t the
only one who got up out of my seat.
Meg sixth grade student
I was working on the math problem for a while, but
then I got a little bored. So I tore a
piece of paper out of my notebook and started folding this neat new airplane design
that Cassie showed me yesterday during recess.
The airplane flew pretty far – I sit in the middle of the room, and the
plane just brushed by Jason’s head and hit the blackboard!
Cassie sixth grade student
Math is my favorite subject, so I really wanted to
solve the problem that Ms. Alcott wrote on the board. But sometimes it’s hard to read the board from my desk. I got out of my seat to take a closer look
at the problem. When I finally solved
it, I shouted “Hooray!” But I never
throw paper airplanes. I don’t even
know how to make them.
PARENT
Your child wants to stay out late and hang around with his friends. You say, "No." This has created a great deal of tension in the house and communication between you and him is difficult. You are worried that he will get into trouble, which you know can happen even to a good kid
who doesn't mean to get into trouble. You also worry about his safety and feel that it is your responsibility as a parent to know where he is. You do trust your child, but you don't know all his friends and are not sure you trust them. You are not happy with the tension in the house and wish you and he were talking things out.
SON/DAUGHTER
You want to stay out late and hang around with your friends without having to tell your parent where you're going . But your parent says, "No." You would keep up with your job around the house. You feel you've proven that you can be trusted, and you feel your friends can be trusted. You know how to say "no" to something foolish or dangerous. You don't understand why you aren't being allowed this freedom when other kids your age have it. The atmosphere in the house
is tense, and you and your parent aren't communicating very well about anything these days.
PARENT
Your child wants to stay out late and hang around with his friends. You say, "No." This has created a great deal of tension in the house and communication between you and him is difficult. You are worried that he will get into trouble, which you know can happen even to a good kid
who doesn't mean to get into trouble. You also worry about his safety and feel that it is your responsibility as a parent to know where he is. You do trust your child, but you don't know all his friends and are not sure you trust them. You are not happy with the tension in the house and wish you and he were talking things out.
SON/DAUGHTER
You want to stay out late and hang around with your friends without having to tell your parent where you're going . But your parent says, "No." You would keep up with your job around the house. You feel you've proven that you can be trusted, and you feel your friends can be trusted. You know how to say "no" to something foolish or dangerous. You don't understand why you aren't being allowed this freedom when other kids your age have it. The atmosphere in the house
is tense, and you and your parent aren't communicating very well about anything these days.