Susan
A. Johns has a middle name that starts with A. She hails from
Tennessee, which is farther south than most of the band has ever
been. When she is not spending her time coddling young toddlers- in a
strictly educational way, we swear- she can be found being
politically correct, sticking up for the underdog, and gallivanting
through life with the band fixated on the brand-spanking-new
whiteboard above her head. Amongst her friends, Susan is known for
her sparkling brown eyes, her ability to keep the band out of harm's
way, and her impeccable taste in friends.
By day, Susan A. Johns is a WGSS major- an acronym
that stands for something entirely liberally artsy/feminist hippy-
but that's no reason to be afraid of her. Fear not! She's still
mortal: she enjoys trashy novels and television shows that feature
identical-looking blondes, brunettes, and/or vampires who find
themselves in soap-opera-esque situations. But don't let that fool
you: her movie collection is totally classy.
If Susan A. Johns jumped off a bridge, the band would totally
follow. Especially because we know she'd have set up an air mattress
filled with puppies, gummy bears, and rainbows to break our falls.
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